So, here's a recent piece of spam:
Touch her heart with your new babymaker.
Now, at first I was a little surprised by the, oh I don't know, sensitivity? of this ad for penis enlargement. I mean - read it, it's quite New Man really: Touch her heart with your new babymaker. You're going to come together in a joyful, romantic union to commit to that most precious of acts to create a new life.
Awwwww…
But then, reading again: Touch her heart with your new babymaker.
How fucking LONG are you making this thing that you can actually touch her heart with it!? And surely that's a fatal action? Let alone the actual lightly deadly act of prodding at a woman's heart with a ludicrously long love stick while shagging, but the amount of vital organs that must have been battered and pushed aside in the process of said behemoth babymaker making its way up there!
God, it's too horrible to consider. Don't even go there. (In so many ways!)
I apologise and leave you with cute floaty otters holding hands to take your mind off all things awful
Keep th' faith,
Dan
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